It hurts when the people you hold closest to you don't see you the same way. It seems like anytime I try to continue a friendship along, something ends up happening. Am I just unlikeable? Am I too much for even a normal friendship to handle?
You know, even when you do everything you're supposed to do it's still not good enough. Going to therapy once a week, keeping a journal, getting on medication, practicing every day etc. It's all never good enough. I really miss having people close to me I can talk to.
A couple of days ago, I had a friend I really held close to my heart say we're not friends anymore. I can appreciate the honesty. I appreciate someone letting me know where we stand versus just up and disappearing. However, I'm very disappointed. It's incredibly hard for me to make new friends. Losing all of the ones I love really makes it hard. I refuse to stay where I'm not wanted. If you don't want me around? That's fine. I'd rather people be honest. The only thing I can do is with them the best of luck in their life and hope that it becomes a better one.
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