I don't know how I feel. My thoughts racing a million miles a second. It's like I undercovered a facade of stability. The truth in reality. I could feel my heart sinking and asking myself, where is my place in this world? What am I here for? Will I ever grow up and change? Is there more than just work, come home, and repeat?
Is there more to life?
I study and get real close, but I feel so far away. What is it all for?
All I can think about is filth. I feel the sweat on my palms like I've been digging in the dirt. My heart feels heavy and my mind is confused.
I don't know who I am anymore. I just want to feel like I have a purpose.
I don't know what will make me happy?
Marriage? A family? A career? A degree?
What will it all matter?
What will anyone remeber me by at the end of the day?
I want to be remembered for something. I don't want my name to die and that's it. I want my name to mean something great. I want to be able to say I accomplished something while I was here.
I don't want to just study and play and work. I want to be acknowledged. I want the people around me to support my empowerment. I don't want to feel alone.
I feel so powerless and confused. Like a bird, trapped in a cage with the door wide open.
I just want to have a meaning other than I exist and walk on this earth fighting the same battle every day.
I want peace for everyone I love and peace for myself knowing I did something great to help people.
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